This was written by a very dear friend of mine. I adore it so I thought I would post it so yeah...
Sami Girl
Fear not, I know the hurt you feel,
Fear not, Dear Girl, the wound shall heal,
All you must do, sit and wait,
He shant soon meet the golden gate.
Fear not, Sweet firl, life shall go on.
The Seeed of pain soon shall be gone
You are hurt, I'm by your side,
From me, your feelings must not hide.
I know your pain is true,
Fear not, gentle girl, you shan't be blue,
You nkow you must not feel that fear,
Keep hope, Sami Girl, his time is not near.
Isnt that the best!?!?! I love it, and it for sure brought a smile to my face.
Thanks Kevbot!!!!
Friday, May 1, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
où je serai dans 5 ans
city lights
like stars
they dance in the rain
drenched in the night she sits in her lonely window
looking out on the wet streets
wondering
pondering
“how did I get here?”
she lives in a sea of nameless faces
she’s just another face
pushing out on all sides
to let the person she has become out
still trying to figure out herself
she never will
but that doesn’t matter
not really
she had the whole world
welcoming her, with open arms
then she pulled a Robert Frost
chose the road less traveled
did it make her happy?
is she satisfied?
is this the life she wanted?
was it worth the tears she cried?
these things you’ll never know
she keeps her disappointment locked up
deep down
where even she can’t find it
she’s not sure if this is what she wanted
but this is what she got
like stars
they dance in the rain
drenched in the night she sits in her lonely window
looking out on the wet streets
wondering
pondering
“how did I get here?”
she lives in a sea of nameless faces
she’s just another face
pushing out on all sides
to let the person she has become out
still trying to figure out herself
she never will
but that doesn’t matter
not really
she had the whole world
welcoming her, with open arms
then she pulled a Robert Frost
chose the road less traveled
did it make her happy?
is she satisfied?
is this the life she wanted?
was it worth the tears she cried?
these things you’ll never know
she keeps her disappointment locked up
deep down
where even she can’t find it
she’s not sure if this is what she wanted
but this is what she got
Thursday, April 2, 2009
ceci qui est je suis
A random jumble of colorfulness.
I feel this describes me in an odd but completely true way.
I feel I’m like a rainbow,
so many different shades and colors that come together rather nicely to
make a beautiful object.
Life holds me up.
The prospect of finding another door to open keeps me going,
keeps me moving forward.
Friends push me when I don’t want to move.
Inspiration drives me in everything I do.
Holding me back is only my self.
Silly meaningless things, loneliness, confusion.
Old Converse that are worn down by all the places I’ve been.
“Hey girl! You’re really staring to go places!”
I sure hope so.
College, graduation, saving the world!
Education is the key to reaching my goals,
well that’s what everyone tells me any way.
I am from one graduation to soon to be another.
I feel this describes me in an odd but completely true way.
I feel I’m like a rainbow,
so many different shades and colors that come together rather nicely to
make a beautiful object.
Life holds me up.
The prospect of finding another door to open keeps me going,
keeps me moving forward.
Friends push me when I don’t want to move.
Inspiration drives me in everything I do.
Holding me back is only my self.
Silly meaningless things, loneliness, confusion.
Old Converse that are worn down by all the places I’ve been.
“Hey girl! You’re really staring to go places!”
I sure hope so.
College, graduation, saving the world!
Education is the key to reaching my goals,
well that’s what everyone tells me any way.
I am from one graduation to soon to be another.
From way too many after school activities and an outrageously large amount of music.
I am from friends and best friends.
Live keeps going, keeps moving forward, you can move with it or just get left behind.
These are the things that I am.
All is mixed together to make a human. Highs, lows, happiness and sorrow,
they are all vital in this thing we call our life
I am from friends and best friends.
Live keeps going, keeps moving forward, you can move with it or just get left behind.
These are the things that I am.
All is mixed together to make a human. Highs, lows, happiness and sorrow,
they are all vital in this thing we call our life
Friday, March 20, 2009
L'histoire faite au hasard j'ai dû écris
“All of a sudden I was trapped! Locked deep in my own mind. My thoughts inclosing me as the world whirled around me. Thoughts, the human mind, our psyche, they are such strange things, trapping us deep inside our selves. Some people never notice. They go their whole life never realizing something is holding them in, keeping them locked up. But I notice.
After a few moments of this panic and a handful of strange looks I’m back to normal. I really am a normal kid. I just get stuck sometimes. But everyone does right?
Walking down the hall is probably the single worst part of high school. I don’t know how many times you’ve tried it. But it’s a lot harder than the normal one foot in front of the other walking you’ve done since you started walking. Oh no… life would just be too easy if that’s all there was to it. It’s more like step, dodge, pretend not to hear the whispers, step, dodge again, pick up your books, step. Five minutes are just not enough time to get across the school.
As I finally step up to the door of my math class the bell rings, and with a smirk the teacher locks the door in front of me. This is my cue to go to the office. Ha! As if. I head out to the shed, or as us “problem kids” call it, the alternative school.
As I expected the normal gang was there. Kimmi, she is absolutely brilliant, but she doesn’t care about anything, not since her twin brother died. Turtle is also there, take one look at him and you can see why the teachers have pinned him with us trouble makers, mohawk, baggy clothes, mean look, but he is one of the only guys in this whole damn school that has any emotions. Slater was in the corner picking at his scabs, hard to believe his real name is Slater, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re your own parent.
“Hey guys!” I say as I flop onto our newest chair (it’s really just a plastic bag full of leaves)
“You did it again didn’t you? Another panic attack?” Kimmi is always blaming me for being late. Like it’s even my fault.
Nervously picking at my half painted nails I shake my head and shrug. Kimmi hates this reaction and she gives me a dirty look. Typical. But I don’t care. I found something new to occupy my interest.
“Hey! Turtle, man, brother, hommie dawg slice, is that a soda in your paws?”
The bit of soda he had in his mouth comes flying out of his nose, Kimmi lets out a chuckle and even Slater looks up from his work to enjoy my silliness.
“Girl you sure are something else, here ‘ya go dear.”
Good thing I have reflexes like I cat or ‘ya know I would have never caught that stupid soda. That would have been so bad. Pretty much catastrophic!”
“Oh and why would it be catastrophic?”
“You know I hate when you interrupt my thoughts. I’m not trying to be rude but yeah… you wanted to hear the story. Are you going to let me finish?”
“Yes. Do continue”
What a pain, he asked to tell a story then interrupts me and shuts me down. Nice.
“Ok well any way that was it. After that I had that thought thing I was telling you about. That’s the last thing I remember, well other then the whole hospital thing then waking up in this hell hole. I mean I must have really lost it, my friends normally wouldn’t panic like that.”
I shut down. Done for the day. I’ve said enough to this shrink who doesn’t even want to be here.
“The nurse said you used your call time last night, it’s the first time in two weeks. You called Turtle?”
A nod from me, this man knows exactly who I called, why ask?
“What did he say?’
“That the alternative school isn’t the same without me. And something about how I freaked that day and he was pretty scared.”
“Is that all?”
Of course it wasn’t. But there was NO WAY I was going to tell this guy what all was said. I happened to glance at the clock.
“Oh hey sorry to cut this short but It’s time for gym! I’m outta here!”
I get up and book it back to the ward where I have to stand and wait for him to come and open the door up for me. I don’t know what it is about this place. Every door is always locked. Him and our floor supervisor exchange those “she did it again looks” but I don’t care. I’m already in my spot in line, arms behind my back and an arm’s length away from the girl in front of me.
Nothing else matters at the moment. I’m going to gym to run. Second best only to the half an hour we get to spend “outside”
As D.J. hands me his Knuckles doll to hold (believe me, a great honor) I feel my thoughts coming. They are closing in again… squeezing me, not letting me go.
After a few moments of this panic and a handful of strange looks I’m back to normal. I really am a normal kid. I just get stuck sometimes. But everyone does right?
Walking down the hall is probably the single worst part of high school. I don’t know how many times you’ve tried it. But it’s a lot harder than the normal one foot in front of the other walking you’ve done since you started walking. Oh no… life would just be too easy if that’s all there was to it. It’s more like step, dodge, pretend not to hear the whispers, step, dodge again, pick up your books, step. Five minutes are just not enough time to get across the school.
As I finally step up to the door of my math class the bell rings, and with a smirk the teacher locks the door in front of me. This is my cue to go to the office. Ha! As if. I head out to the shed, or as us “problem kids” call it, the alternative school.
As I expected the normal gang was there. Kimmi, she is absolutely brilliant, but she doesn’t care about anything, not since her twin brother died. Turtle is also there, take one look at him and you can see why the teachers have pinned him with us trouble makers, mohawk, baggy clothes, mean look, but he is one of the only guys in this whole damn school that has any emotions. Slater was in the corner picking at his scabs, hard to believe his real name is Slater, but I guess that’s what happens when you’re your own parent.
“Hey guys!” I say as I flop onto our newest chair (it’s really just a plastic bag full of leaves)
“You did it again didn’t you? Another panic attack?” Kimmi is always blaming me for being late. Like it’s even my fault.
Nervously picking at my half painted nails I shake my head and shrug. Kimmi hates this reaction and she gives me a dirty look. Typical. But I don’t care. I found something new to occupy my interest.
“Hey! Turtle, man, brother, hommie dawg slice, is that a soda in your paws?”
The bit of soda he had in his mouth comes flying out of his nose, Kimmi lets out a chuckle and even Slater looks up from his work to enjoy my silliness.
“Girl you sure are something else, here ‘ya go dear.”
Good thing I have reflexes like I cat or ‘ya know I would have never caught that stupid soda. That would have been so bad. Pretty much catastrophic!”
“Oh and why would it be catastrophic?”
“You know I hate when you interrupt my thoughts. I’m not trying to be rude but yeah… you wanted to hear the story. Are you going to let me finish?”
“Yes. Do continue”
What a pain, he asked to tell a story then interrupts me and shuts me down. Nice.
“Ok well any way that was it. After that I had that thought thing I was telling you about. That’s the last thing I remember, well other then the whole hospital thing then waking up in this hell hole. I mean I must have really lost it, my friends normally wouldn’t panic like that.”
I shut down. Done for the day. I’ve said enough to this shrink who doesn’t even want to be here.
“The nurse said you used your call time last night, it’s the first time in two weeks. You called Turtle?”
A nod from me, this man knows exactly who I called, why ask?
“What did he say?’
“That the alternative school isn’t the same without me. And something about how I freaked that day and he was pretty scared.”
“Is that all?”
Of course it wasn’t. But there was NO WAY I was going to tell this guy what all was said. I happened to glance at the clock.
“Oh hey sorry to cut this short but It’s time for gym! I’m outta here!”
I get up and book it back to the ward where I have to stand and wait for him to come and open the door up for me. I don’t know what it is about this place. Every door is always locked. Him and our floor supervisor exchange those “she did it again looks” but I don’t care. I’m already in my spot in line, arms behind my back and an arm’s length away from the girl in front of me.
Nothing else matters at the moment. I’m going to gym to run. Second best only to the half an hour we get to spend “outside”
As D.J. hands me his Knuckles doll to hold (believe me, a great honor) I feel my thoughts coming. They are closing in again… squeezing me, not letting me go.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
oh, cette fille
This is a poem I wrote for an english class. My teacher thought it was "brilliant" and shared it with other classes. It sums me up basicly. Enjoy.
I am from two people who love to hate each other
I am from parents who yell, their way to show “love”
I am from a little country girl to longing for the city
I am from “sistermerstreet” and Hooked on Phonics to a healthy diet of music videos, and still not being able to spell
I am from remembering the day I first tied my shoes to most days not even bothering wearing them
I am from being one of the biggest bullies on the block, to being nicer to people then they deserve
I am from learning to read, to loving to read, to wishing I had
time
I am from first time bicycle rides and adventures in our tree house
I am from house to house to still no home
I am from paper cut arms and broken hearts to semi-real smiles and laughter
I am from spending long hours taking care of “Grumpa” to wishing he was still around to take care of me
I am from sweet Mormon girl, to rebel with out a cause
I am from no friends, to fake friends, to the best friends I could ever ask for
I am from late night adventures in a little red car
I am from being locked up, a prisoner in my own home, to running away, tasting that freedom
I am from Mozart, Beethoven and Tchaikovsky to Chiodos, The Used and Nirvana
I am from backseat romances to maybe something more, hopefully something more
I am from “hey grandpa” “what” “nothing” to complete loneliness with out him
I am from Series of Unfortunate Events to Go Ask Alice, oh wait you can’t, she died
I am from being miserable, to finally knowing what happiness feels like
I am from “Hey, D.J. watch me!” to “Hey Sam, look what I can do!”
I am from hating my self, to loving who I’ve become
I am from meatatarian to semi-vegetarian
I am from being a fake, a copy of others to being a real human being, me
I am from big college dreams to what ever
I am from staying up way to late staring at the wall
I am from lonely thoughts about death to finding a true reason to be alive
From fake to real
From lost to still not found but O.K with the idea of staying hidden
I am from hating the world to wanting to save it
From dark to light
From all these things that I am from
From all the things I have done
From all of these things we get a girl
The girl that I’ve become
I am from parents who yell, their way to show “love”
I am from a little country girl to longing for the city
I am from “sistermerstreet” and Hooked on Phonics to a healthy diet of music videos, and still not being able to spell
I am from remembering the day I first tied my shoes to most days not even bothering wearing them
I am from being one of the biggest bullies on the block, to being nicer to people then they deserve
I am from learning to read, to loving to read, to wishing I had
time
I am from first time bicycle rides and adventures in our tree house
I am from house to house to still no home
I am from paper cut arms and broken hearts to semi-real smiles and laughter
I am from spending long hours taking care of “Grumpa” to wishing he was still around to take care of me
I am from sweet Mormon girl, to rebel with out a cause
I am from no friends, to fake friends, to the best friends I could ever ask for
I am from late night adventures in a little red car
I am from being locked up, a prisoner in my own home, to running away, tasting that freedom
I am from Mozart, Beethoven and Tchaikovsky to Chiodos, The Used and Nirvana
I am from backseat romances to maybe something more, hopefully something more
I am from “hey grandpa” “what” “nothing” to complete loneliness with out him
I am from Series of Unfortunate Events to Go Ask Alice, oh wait you can’t, she died
I am from being miserable, to finally knowing what happiness feels like
I am from “Hey, D.J. watch me!” to “Hey Sam, look what I can do!”
I am from hating my self, to loving who I’ve become
I am from meatatarian to semi-vegetarian
I am from being a fake, a copy of others to being a real human being, me
I am from big college dreams to what ever
I am from staying up way to late staring at the wall
I am from lonely thoughts about death to finding a true reason to be alive
From fake to real
From lost to still not found but O.K with the idea of staying hidden
I am from hating the world to wanting to save it
From dark to light
From all these things that I am from
From all the things I have done
From all of these things we get a girl
The girl that I’ve become
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